Yesterday, my family celebrated the homegoing of Vivian Waters. The sun was showing off a little for February and it was a perfect day for the transition of a spirit like hers from this world into the next.
Vivian was raised first on the Eastern Shore of Maryland, and then later grew up in Philadelphia. She was hardworking from a young age, as most children of the Depression era were, and believed with a vengeance in education. She attended Delaware State College, where she met her husband Wellington Waters ( who was the brother of my grandmother Pauline). Vivian later completed her degree in French Studies at Howard University. She raised four children with her husband, giving them every educational opportunity possible and raising them with a firm hand of discipline. Her children and grandchildren were always at the center of her heart.
It had only been recently, within the last four years, that I got to know Auntie Vivian (as I affectionately called her) much better. Before, I’d mostly only seen her at family gatherings, but these last four years, we’d seen a lot of more of one another during the illness leading up to her son Skip’s 2010 passing from cancer.
Vivian had a wry sense of humor and loved to laugh. She was a master storyteller and had an opinion on everything. Though a small woman in stature, she had a larger-than-life presence. She had the kind of wisdom birthed from experiencing the hardships of life.
Vivian was a “tough” woman; that was almost universally the first adjective people used to describe her. She was not cut from the cloth of the average woman of that era who were mainly expected to fall in line, follow along, and most of all, do it quietly. Vivian was certainly not going to be quieted! I’ve always admired women with that kind of confidence and fortitude. She did not suffer fools lightly and spoke her truth at all times. She was so very *brave*.
There are so many valuable lessons and experiences our generation needs to continue to learn from her generation. Raised under the grip of Jim Crow, our elders forged a protective shield built around education, family, hard work and the pursuit of excellence. In the march of technology and more equal opportunity, we ought to remember and hold firm to the values they held.
And so it was yesterday, as we celebrated Vivian’s life in a little chapel on top of a hill, amidst plenty of tears but also a lot of laughter. Auntie Vivian, I thank you for the love you showed me and my son. I’ll miss the many long conversations we had about life and parenthood. They were such a gift to me.
In the end, all we could ever hope to have is what Vivian Waters had: a life well-lived on our own terms, with few regrets, a fierce love for family and a peaceful acceptance at death’s calling.
I will miss you, Auntie Vivian. I’ll still be working to find your connection to Luther Vandross;)